I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
