If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
