I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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