Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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