So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
