I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
