Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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