I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Randomize
