I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
