You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
ttyl tear gas
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
