we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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