Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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