My balls are so social today.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
