We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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