I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
