I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
