Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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