But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
