He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
