Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize