So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
