He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
