how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
