Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
