you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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