I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
