break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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