It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
