Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
