I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
