...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
