I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
