I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Swine flu is the new snow day.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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