i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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