My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
