"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
