Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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