All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
