I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
