At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i drank out of a bidet.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
