D3 body, D1 cock
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
