"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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