We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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