So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
