You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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