I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
being pregnant is like rehab
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
