im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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