Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
