I showed him my bush... on skype.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
