end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
