Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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