her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
