i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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