Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
