I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
