i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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