How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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