how can u be prego again
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
