I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
