That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
