sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize