sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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