OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
