So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
