I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
