guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
