need another drink. this is the easiest way
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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