I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He? As in you personified your dick?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
