What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
is wine microwaveable?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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